Next month I’ll be coming up on one year of being graduated from university. While I have mixed feelings about that, I’ll just be taking a look at the facts of what happened and what’s still going on. In many ways I can see how this past year I’ve taken steps back in several areas, but I’m just now noticing how a step back can mean taking two steps forward later on.
I’ll start with the physical area of my life.
Towards the end my last school year I hurt myself during Powerlifting practice, which put me out of training for much longer than I was expecting. I was been able to work out just fine for the most part, but there was always this residual pain in my lower back telling me to take it easy with the weights. It was a subtle pain, not the barking kind that puts people in bed. Nonetheless, I’ve regressed in such ways that made me romanticize the Powerlifter I was in the past. I’ve always hated hearing guys that talked about their “Glory Days” (High School) that they still look back on. Now I completely understand where they’re coming from.
On the other hand, there is a positive side to this. Being unable to do these lifts like I used to, I’ve experimented with different kinds of exercise (Martial arts, Yoga) just for the sake of trying new things. Besides having a good time doing this, numerous people have noticed that I’m starting to look a bit thinner and leaner than I used to be a while back.
Socially I’ve never felt like so much of a hermit as I’ve been in recent months. Many people have called me quiet in my life, but I don’t think I was ever anti-social . Just a year ago I was used to going out and socializing like everyone else, but now I do find myself preferring to stay in a lot of the times. I think comparing myself to where other people are affects me more than I’d like to admit.
I’m slowly making a comeback from this too, though. Just last week I decided to get back into improv classes. Not really with the intent on getting good at it, but just to get silly. Just to mess things up and be okay with it.
The last area of my life where I’ve felt a great decline is in my work life. Although I’ve never been thought of as a hustler, the past year has definitely felt like I’ve fallen off in my ability to get work done. Unable to structure my day and really accomplish anything, I got discouraged and began to think of myself as a deadbeat.
But things are starting to look up now. I’m filling up a schedule with projects I’m interested in. I don’t have a traditional job, but I’m gaining skills and seeing how I’m actually useful in different ways. Looking back to where I was a year ago, I actually have a lot of the things that I said I wanted, they just came a with some unexpected side effects.
As much as I didn’t enjoy that slump I was in, I have to recognize what a privelege it is to have the option to work on these aspects of my life. We live in very good times, and I’ve been forgetting that often. While I was in my rut, I was always hoping I’d find a way to jump onto another path instead of staying curious to see where my path would lead. And as much as I’d like to talk about personal empowerment, I think that life sometimes has different plans for people, and that can be a good thing! This is an exciting time, and one that shows promise.
Thanks for reading,