“If you’re not growing, you’re dying!”

Jacob Sokol, Living on Purpose

Every Wednesday morning my dad and I go to the same house in the Berkeley hills. The owner, a chatty woman, always talks to us about the latest news while we do our gardening in her backyard. I’ve been coming to the same house for many years now – I can remember gardening in her backyard as a teenager. She has one of the greatest views of the bay you could ask for, but what most stands out to me in her yard is a pond, which had a giant coy fish that has been alive pretty much as long as I have. Although the fish grew to an impressive size, the owner would tell me that it could keep growing, if only its pond were bigger. Having grown as big as it could get in its home, the fish remained the same size for the rest of its life.

After my last meeting with my mentor, I’ve been considering the idea that I too might be outgrowing my home.

Having moved in with my parents after my graduation, I decided it’d be best for me to invest in my own growth and development without worrying too much about finances. Since then I’ve read some books and taken online courses to help guide me through the struggle of figuring out what it is I want to do with myself. I could just be trying to rationalize a potential mistake I made, but that was my intent at the beginning.

However, after all that I’ve read in this time, most of it was information to be applied in the future – mostly leaving me with a lot of theory and food for thought. The fact of the matter is that after earning a college degree I still don’t know how to look out for myself. I think I even took an extra year of school to avoid thinking about it. In the end I don’t have many “skills” to speak of, or references that could vouch for me. After all the time I spent avoiding work and moving out, I wonder if there’s anything left for me to do here at home. My aspirations to coach and have an impact on people are held back by the lack of authority and life experience I have – when it comes down to it. Without all that, this blog and everything I want to accomplish with it will all just be some cute thing I do as a hobby.

After arriving at this conclusion during our last meeting, my coach left me with these words:

“Go. Your life is waiting for you.”